The art is not one of forgetting but letting go.
And when everything else is gone, you can be rich in loss.
Rebecca Solnit
A sun for Hiroshima – Barry Cleavin
Questions to consider;
Are my thoughts true?
Or just my personal view?
In this moment, do I need anything? See if you can ask for it…
In 1987, Emily Perl Kingsley described what it was like to have a child with a disability. In her essay, Welcome to Holland, she writes of the dawning realisation that her baby is not the baby she expected, likening the hopes and dreams of expectant parents as that of planning a trip. You’re going to Italy and you can’t wait. You’ve planned this trip for ages and it’s going to be fabulous. And besides, everyone you know thats been says it’s wonderful. But when the plane eventually lands you realise, that instead of landing in Italy, you have somehow wound up in Holland. Slowly and thoughtfully, you realise that being in Holland may just require a different mindset or an acceptance that this journey is going to be different from the one you imagined.
Having a baby brings about change, sometimes not the change we expected or would have wished for. Who we are, how we live, how we relate are all concepts that can be affected. Change can cause powerful emotions to rise and fall. We grow when we don’t deny these feelings but by looking at them fully. If you can’t discuss your strong feelings with anyone, try writing them down. I like to use a mantra; ‘All will be well and all will be well and all will be well’, ‘The best way out is always through’, ‘Everything is working out perfectly.’ I hope you find one that works for you.
A mindfulness technique such as, noticing your lips at different times throughout the day can be interesting. You don’t have to change anything but the simple act of bringing your attention to one place can lighten your mood.
Further reading:
Alison Lovage 