‘The opportunity to experience yourself
differently is always available.’
Rinpoche
Question the thoughts that come up for you when you think about the upcoming birth, as often the brain throws up negative and unhelpful thoughts when you are struggling with situations that are new or out of your control.
Is this thought true?
Is this thought helpful and will it mean I remain relaxed and positive about the birthing experience?
What do I need to focus on in order to have a positive experience
Focus on that. And breathe…
I am lucky enough to have seen some amazing places and events in my 20’s; the Taj Mahal at sunrise, a flock of stunning pink flamingoes glide in to feed on a lake in Kenya, the Mona Lisa, gorillas in Rwanda, but nothing could prepare me for the incredible experience of my friend giving birth to her first daughter. It was mind-blowing and unforgettable. Unfortunately we don’t really experience our own babies births like that but if you have a partner, make sure they are in position for the actual moment of birth. Awe inspiring.
My own pregnancy ended in an emergency ceasaean. I had laboured all day but it was after midnight when I was wheeled into theatre. I was in tears as my dream of a ‘normal’ birth was suddenly taken away, along with my partner, who was whipped away to be gowned up for the surgery suite. The emotional pain lasted longer than the physical as I struggled with, not quite guilt but regret, until one day it didn’t matter anymore, there were plenty of other mistakes I had made with my parenting that were more within my control.
My partner tells the story of driving home alone from the hospital after I had given birth, with the window wound down and opera loud on the stereo, trying to block out the enormity of there’s no going back, we had a baby to care for, for eternity or so it seems.
I went a little stir-crazy the first days after the birth, luckily my midwife advised me to step outside at least once everyday even if just to look up at the sky and let my thoughts drift like the clouds, hear the wind in the trees or smell the air.
Further reading:
Finding Calm for the Expectant Mom Alice Domar
A Good Birth Anne Drapkin Lyerly
Alison Lovage 